A list of every thought I had while watching Gehraiyaan

Zero f***s given in this Gehraiyaan movie review

Image: Screengrab of YouTube trailer by Amazon Prime Video India

I finally watched Gehraiyaan on Amazon Prime Video.

Directed by Shakun Batra, the film is about a yoga instructor and app creator Alisha Khanna (Deepika Padukone), who ends up in an affair with her cousin Tia’s (Ananya Panday) fiance, Zain (Siddhant Chaturvedi), while having a live-in boyfriend Karan (Dhairya Karwa). Later, sh*t gets real when Zain runs into a scammy financial mess and drags Alisha into it.

I jotted down my thoughts with the purpose of reviewing this film. But the brain dump felt so cathartic to me that I didn’t want to edit it. That’s why I decided to devote a blog post to my unfiltered thoughts about Gehraiyaan.

Do let me know what you think about it and whether you’d like me to repeat this format for other films. Please note that these are my thoughts about the movie as they came to me and each one of us is entitled to our own.

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I’m diving into Gehraiyaan (pun unintended), and I don’t know how it is.

Gehraiyaan, BTW, reminds me of Himesh Reshammiya’s song Tanhaiyaan. *Mimicking Himesh singing this song with “Gehraiyaan” replacing “Tanhaiyaan”.*

Good on Team Gehraiyaan to declare they’re an out-and-out A-rated film. No pretensions. Keeping it simple.

A big disclaimer comes on screen.

First F-word in the first six minutes.

Deepika’s Alisha travels in an auto. Her sartorial style is approachable, too.

Love her yoga-app idea. It’s brilliant.

The film’s yoga scenes definitely made me get up for my evening workout.

Was that Alibaug resort Ahilya by the Bay, which is in Goa, BTW?

Dhairya Karwa is quite good. Especially when he says, “Aadha Bombay to aise hi jeeta hai.”

I guessed it right. Tia is sending a yacht 🤣

This Zain looks like a fraud right at the outset. Too much overacting 🤣 Ek saal ke liye (yacht) lease pe li hai clients ko impress karne ke liye. And people are actually believing him?!

WTF is “shandy”?

Ananya Panday zones out in between, but it’s okay.

The film reminds me of Aakhir Kyon. Almost the same premise. But Smita Patil’s character was a way better protagonist, easy to root for. Here, on the other hand…

Zain has started flirting with Alisha now. “Itni aasani se (Tia) nahin chhodegi mujhe, warna pakka tumhare saath bhaag jaata.”

Seriously, WTF is Alisha seeing in Zain? He looks so shady. She’ll unnecessarily complicate her life and relationships by taking this situationship ahead.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be comfortable spending so much time with a would-be bro-in-law.

I can’t even talk to my brothers-in-law without some level of discomfort, which stems from respect. How is Alisha doing it? Even if you and honewaale jeejaaji click and find a connection, how? The plotting and screenplay lack believability this way.

Zain’s placing his hand on Alisha’s waist!!! Eww!!!

“Zain started following you.” Creepy AF!!!

I’d totally get creeped out at this point if I wouldn’t have made anything of the waist-touching.

Tia has just been Instagramming through the film so far. Only photo sessions. Doesn’t she have anything better to do?

How are the two (Alisha and Zain) shamelessly chatting like this? And they say other-language movies have no logic!

Whenever I’d be introduced to my brothers-in-law, I’d automatically place them as my father or brother figures. Why doesn’t the film touch upon this basic human tendency? Even if Alisha and Zain take off, he doesn’t even do something for her. Doesn’t go out of the way for her. It also looks like Alisha is going after Zain, as her BF’s writing career isn’t working. Yikes. The writing seriously paints her that way 😲 It’s disrespectful for a woman of Alisha’s calibre.

Maybe she’s looking for stability, given her father had a failing business, and now her BF is on the same track. But why with jeejaaji?! The film could have really written her character better.

Karan doesn’t give Alisha his manuscript to read—why so much aggressive overreaction for that? Yes, they’ve been in a relationship long enough that they don’t feel the need to use the niceties and tact while talking. But WTH was that reaction, Alisha? Build-up for some so-called vulnerability, which doesn’t even look like vulnerability in the first place?

If Alisha is a progressive woman, then I don’t want to be progressive. I’m better off old-fashioned and old-school. At least I wouldn’t unnecessarily complicate my life.

Why didn’t Zain go with Tia and Karan in the cab? Didn’t anyone suspect why he’s refusing the ride?

The childhood trauma isn’t a convincing rationale for Alisha’s cheating.

Those sea waves are annoying me now. The makers are simply thrusting them in between. They keep coming after every second scene.

I just can’t connect with the characters, despite the backstories they keep telling. There’s just no depth or gehraai to them.

Zain is throwing about so many isms. Looks like a loser to me. Nothing is convincing about him at all.

I hope Tia finds out about the affair.

“Woh to mar gayi achhi maa banke, bura baap banke main jee raha hoon.” Wah, Naseer sahab, wah!

Interns ko lunch pe laaya hai yeh Zain. I’m sure this would have been memed in troves 🤣

Not even a single decent food shot in the film. God knows what these people are eating. Even their food isn’t relatable 🤣

“I love you.” Bullshit, Zain.

This movie brings a really bad name to Mumbai. Imagine small-town parents seeing this and opposing their kids’ decision to move to the city for work.

I’m feeling sleepy. And there are still 47 minutes left in the film. What a bore! When is it ending?

Why is Tia so dumb?

What were the makers smoking?

I’m stopping it for now. Will continue tomorrow.

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Will have to continue. Neighbour is blasting music at full bass and volume.

Ananya Panday’s character is worse than a TV serial bahu with an obviously philandering husband. Full-on “mera pati mera devta hai” vibes.

“I … loved him.” Really? This is love?!

Naseeruddin Shah is the best part of this film.

Still 23 minutes to go. This movie is just not getting over…*Groan*

If Alisha would have had this conversation with her father beforehand, then we wouldn’t have had to suffer through this film.

Love how fathers forgive their children and their mistakes. Seriously, Naseer sahab saved the film a bit.

The waves…again!!!

How are they inviting exes to engagements, man?

Intimacy director?! WTF!

Post backdated on Sunday, 10 July 2022